ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[14thcommander]

Under the circumstances, it's not surprising you became selfish. At the time, it helped you survive, but now it's a trait that hurts you because it hinders your relationships with better people.

[beejfu]

Hit the nail on the head there, Hange.

Living humans aren't as selfish as dead people and demons, are they? I don't wanna be alive again to find out they're all as shitty as dead assholes.

[14thcommander]

Well, that depends on the living human. Some of them are incredibly horrible.

But they aren't all like that. You can learn how to gauge it too.

[beejfu]

How?

[14thcommander]

It's hard, Betelgeuse. It's so hard. If I were really good at it my life in the past five years would have been a lot easier. You have to watch for people who go out of their way to be good to you. You have to make sure you're good to them and go out of your way to do that too. And you have to be willing to walk away from it if you realize that person was just feeding you up to gut you. I'm not going to pretend it's not hard.

[beejfu]

Shit.


I don't treat you like that, do I? I'm trying to be better. It's so hard to not go, like 'well what's in it for me' 24/7.

[14thcommander]

You've done that a little bit. I know you're trying and I know where it comes from, and I know why it sticks, because it's a habit that you needed and it served you well. Just in the life you're trying to embrace, it won't so much.

I'm not angry with you, okay?

[beejfu]

Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

So, uh.

I think I gotta go monogamous. And do something really special for Rhys. Over time.

[14thcommander]

Hey, why don't you come over? I hate having this serious discussion on these things.

[beejfu]

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Your place?

[14thcommander]

Yeah. You want to walk or I summon you?

[beejfu]

I can hoof it.

[he should get used to walking around anyway]

[14thcommander]

[Hange is standing outside her room waiting for him.]

[beejfu]

[he shuffles along the hallway, looking, as usual, odd and out-of-place in the relatively clean barge atmosphere, nodding to Hange and scootching by when she lets him in]

Hiii.

[14thcommander]

She intercepts him, pivoting him so she can step in and hug him. It's really... good, that he's realizing this, because fuck if Betelgeuse's selfishness isn't draining, but she also reflexively dislikes her charge being in pain.

[beejfu]

"Ulp."

He says, when Hange hugs the breath from him, and holds his arms out, near but not touching her back just yet.

"Hey, I'm good. I'm good."

[14thcommander]

Hange doesn't press it - she releases him and backs off, heading towards the so-familiar armchairs, one of which will probably smell slightly of Betelgeuse forever at this point.

"It's about Rhys and that new guy, huh? I had an eye on it."

[beejfu]

"Cyberstalker." He teases, without heat to it. Betelgeuse wanders in after her and drops into his favorite and claimed seat.

[14thcommander]

She sits across from him and drops her head back, staring at the ceiling. What a question.

"Regarding how to be less selfish... I think the fact that you're asking the question is a step in the right direction. I don't expect this to immediately change, because for the record, how long were you fending for yourself again?"

[beejfu]

"Millennia." His face fills with a wary dread at the idea of going another millennium to unlearn bad habits.

"But I wasn't trying for most of it! The Black Death took up so much of my time in the 14th century!"

[14thcommander]

"I'm just saying - you probably are going to take a while to internalize that you don't have to do that anymore, not just in your brain, but, you know, your gut. What's the Black Death?"

[beejfu]

He looks down at his tummy and presses into it with black-tipped fingernails.

"Deadliest pandemic in human history." He says, distracted. "A third of a continent died, it was hilarious. But it meant I was running around like a nutcase."

[14thcommander]

"... Because...?"

[beejfu]

He squirms, making a face. But BJ answers, because Hange is doing him a favor by listening.

"Because I was a guide to the Netherworld. If people didn't read the book - and trust me, a lot of people couldn't read back then - I had to go Upstairs and lead the newly deads home."

[14thcommander]

Okay, this. This is better than what she was expecting. Hange smiles slightly.

"So you took care of them?" Well, who knows what "taking care of" constitutes for Betelgeuse, but she could see him being good at this, actually.