ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[14thcommander]

I understand. Conflicts of interest. I respect that.

[questionsonly]

And he hates it. Specifically? Me? Having friends. Having... people who matter. The more reminders?

The more he'll buck.

[14thcommander]

Hates you having friends?

[Now that is strange. Hange widens her eye, perches her hand on a fist.]

Why's that?

[questionsonly]

[ He gives Hange a faint smile. ]

Because. They are people? who aren't him. or Maxwell. Who I care about.

And the fact that I opened up to them while I've been here. That I was able to... work on myself like this...

Logically? He knows the role my world played. My job played. Cutter... played. But only half of Jacobi is logic. And it's not the louder half.

[14thcommander]

Ahhhh...

[Hange rotates her glass on the table as she thinks this over. Possessive, then? And settled into how things were, comfortable like that.]

So, you've pulled the rug out from under him a bit.

[questionsonly]

[ A nod. ]

And made him feel... less than.

After all, if I could be open. Show emotions. Care... openly about people? Why couldn't I do that with him.

[ He gestures with one hand. ]

Part of it is that he's finding out new things. Part of it... is that he's finding out old things. that put the old things he knew? Into a new context. But even then... I was his CO. I protected him from... a lot.

[14thcommander]

I imagine some of this will improve as he adjusts to you. To the man you are now.

[Hange's eye flickers up to examine him.]

It was hard for me to adjust when Erwin died. As my commanding officer, I knew he worked hard but it was a lot to take in just how much he did once I stood in his place. I can relate to feeling... disoriented.

[questionsonly]

[ He nods. It’s one of the reasons why, despite everything, he wouldn’t mind if Hange did in fact end up with Jacobi: she’ll understand that point. She’ll understand some of the decisions, some of what it means, some of the things they did and the scope of it. He just has to make sure Jacobi doesn’t try and blow her up. ]

He’ll adjust. But not without… incident.

[14thcommander]

What are you really most worried about?

[Hange leans forward.]

Me, him, or the ship at large?

[questionsonly]

Excessive damage. And unnecessary harm.

I think all of them, including you? Can survive this. But it's going to be messy. Especially without... falling into old habits.

[14thcommander]

[Anything can happen. The possibility of a permanent pairing exists, after all...]

Bill graduated, by the way. [Which fills her with nervousness for the future but also deep happiness. She's beyond glad that her second inmate won't return to a prison that will destroy everything he's gained, but she feels a reflexive nervousness at someone so strong released in the world...] It's good that we're talking about future options.

What are old habits like?

[questionsonly]

Awww the Triangle made it, that's great. Slightly terrifying, but great.

[ He gives her a quick wink because he's proud of her, graduating two inmates at this point, for all that Luke had done a lot of the initial roughing out there. A polish is nothing to sneeze at. And hell, he hasn't graduated even one inmate. Not yet.

He's wondering if it'll only be one, given Jacobi's presence here. He'd never leave him. ]

Old habits involve... using him. Like my right hand. Acting like a CO. Keeping things from him... for his own good. Protecting him... sometimes to his detriment.

[14thcommander]

I know. I'm so happy for him.

[Emotional results of second, secondhand inmate graduating: relief at having her deal. Joy that he won't go back to some time-loop prison. She'd give Luke a lot of credit, but in the end she's just guiltily glad that Bill is free.]

What do you think you'll do, then? Will you be keeping your distance? Or trying to throw old habits aside? What kind of relationship do you expect to have with him when you're both out of here?

[questionsonly]

Keeping my distance is... not an option.

[ The collateral damage alone makes it a bad idea. But the damage to their relationshsip that would cause is astronomical. It's also not something he wants or could even really maintain in his current state. He feels too much for and about Jacobi to stay away. ]

I don't want our old relationship. I want a new relationship. That's actually... a relationship.

[ The tone makes it clear what he means. ]

[14thcommander]

Ahhh, so it's like that.

[Hange shuffles and shifts around, thinking it over.]

Well, maybe you should keep a little distance at the beginning? I don't mean... don't see him. But keep a bit of space, and see how he settles in on his own. Who he befriends and falls in with. They could do as much to graduate him as any warden he's assigned... because my impulse is to say there's a risk of him just falling into you, falling back onto you. Defaulting to what's familiar, when what's familiar is what got him here - you see what I mean?

[questionsonly]

I...

I'm going to try.

At the same time, I'm- I held him at arms length for years. Doing it now, without the reasons I had then?

I don't want to hurt him anymore either.

[14thcommander]

[It's not a big table. It's easy for Hange to lean over and grab his shoulder.]

Warren, it's your relationship. That's my opinion, but I'm not your commanding officer or your warden. If you really want to do it, take the path that leaves you with no regrets. Or as few regrets as possible.

[questionsonly]

But I trust you, Hange. And the last time I made a call on him?

He got a gun pointed in my face.

[14thcommander]

[The fact that it's not a big table means it's also easy to scoot around so they're closer, close enough for Hange to sling an arm around his shoulder and pull him in.]

Ah, Warren. I'm sorry. It's not easy to deal with the people we care about sometimes.

[questionsonly]

The question is: make old mistakes... or make new mistakes. I know there's going to be mistakes.

Even if I do stay close... I'm not the man I was. And it's going to take time for him to adjust.

[ But he leans over into her hold. ]

[14thcommander]

If it's between those options, make the new ones. You already know what the old ones can do... it's breaking new ground.

[Said in a light tone but she squeezes him.]

[questionsonly]

I wish I could introduce you.

[ It's like wishing that gravity worked differently, as far as he's concerned. You can wish things but it's not something to work towards. ]

[14thcommander]

I'm amenable to it... but you shouldn't worry.

[Hange leans her head against his.]

You'll have a future where you can introduce him to lots of people you care about...

[questionsonly]

Yes, I am... no stranger to the bigger picture. I've just spent the last. two years and change looking a little closer.

[ He breathes in her scent and breathes out and lets his head rest against hers. ]

He's going to meet all of you anyway. Just. With mixed success.

[14thcommander]

I know.

[Hange just stays put. Support.]

I'll tell you what I think, but I'll support your final decisions on the matter.