ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[14thcommander]

I'm glad you came back.

[beejfu]

You are?

[14thcommander]

Yeah. Of course.

[beejfu]

That makes me feel like crying.

Is that normal? I haven't been human for very long.

[14thcommander]

Strong emotions can leak out as tears, yeah.

[Hange realizes suddenly that she hadn't told him that, and that of course it would mean a lot to Betelgeuse to hear that. In all the complicated emotions and the drama and stress of his return, she'd just never mentioned it.]

I'm sorry I didn't say that earlier.

[beejfu]

Shit. Yeah. Wow, okay, that makes sense. Because I'm not sad but I'm also crying.

Hey, no worries, you've only been human for what, 30 years? You didn't know.

[14thcommander]

[Hange lets out a soft snort of amusement.]

Yeah. I'm... well, I look forward to seeing you work.

[beejfu]

You're the first one who's ever said that to me.

[14thcommander]

I'm...

Look, Betelgeuse. This job is hard in a lot of ways that aren't immediately apparent at first. I'm worried about you, but I'm worried about Jean too - it's not specific to you. [His feelings about her perceived lack of confidence in him haven't gone unnoticed.] And you're really... new to being human, and adjusting to a lot right now, and I'm worried about you getting taken advantage of or being hurt.

You don't have to talk to me about all this. But I hope you'll find someone.

[beejfu]

[His brow creases in confusion, as he tries to work out what he's being told]

But I like to talk to you about all this. I mean. Unless it's too much. You've got Jean and all.

[14thcommander]

It seems to stress you out and agitate you, though.

[beejfu]

I think it was back when I thought you didn't believe in me. And also I kinda...fucked things up when I left and a lot of that guilt turned into anger.

Eesh. Philosophy 101 I guess.

[14thcommander]

[Does she believe in him? There's a lot of good in Betelgeuse, but also... she just worries. Hange would not have picked that moment for him to graduate.]

It's - hard to explain. There's so much that could go wrong! There's things that are dangerous here... I don't want you to get messed up. But you'll never succeed at it if you don't try, and part of your eventual success might be some failures along the way. It's complicated.

Of course you can talk to me about it if you want though. I'm here for you.

[beejfu]

I know. I know I know. Some days I just wanna demote myself. But that wouldn't be fair to Loki and I LIKE the guy. I wasn't expecting to like him so much.

[14thcommander]

I'm glad you like him! I think that's good. I think it's important for a warden to find something they like about their inmate.

Anyway - I can't always be here to guide you. I'll have my own inmate again eventually. But I'm here for you, for brainstorming and coming up with ideas, and talking about problems, okay? And for being friends, and the band...

[beejfu]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, can you tell me about your world some more? Like I don't know if I'd fit in there or not.

[14thcommander]

That's hard to do, because I don't doubt my world will drastically change after I relocate us to a new planet. And I myself... might not stay there permanently. I'd like to imagine my people won't need my help, eventually.

[beejfu]

Gotta let the baby birds leave the nest, huh?

Where would you go? Back to Earth?

[14thcommander]

I'm not from earth, so there's no going back. Either way, I'd want to go someplace different.

[beejfu]

Would you go alone?

[14thcommander]

I already told you you could come with me! And truthfully, I hope I'll be able to stay connected to at least some people here...

[beejfu]

Oh!

[he gives a relieved grin]

I thought you just meant to wherever your people were headed. Whew. Thanks.

[14thcommander]

No.

I'm expecting my time with my people to be full of hard work. You're invited along, naturally, but I'm expecting you to be understanding of me having a lot of demands on my time if you do... and hopefully given ten years or so, I'll feel alright about leaving them be.

[beejfu]

You think they'll be happy you picked them up and moved them into space?

[14thcommander]

We're moving to a new planet! But no. I think we're letting ourselves in for a lot of inconvenience and struggle and hard work. But they won't be dead, and we won't be eradicating anyone else, so it will have to do.

I'm also thinking about asking the Admiral to just move us to a replica of the planet we're currently on.