ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[14thcommander]

After a second Hange smiles back.

"I hope things work out with you and Bill as well. It sounds like you've weathered a lot together and faced worse things than this." And put each other through worse things than this, on Bill's side. "Bill's changed a lot since he got here, right?"

[mothmansplaining]

"More than I ever thought was possible," Ford confirms.

[14thcommander]

"From that alone, your chances seem good. If you need to step back a bit, he'll have people around who care for him too. You're not solely responsible."

[mothmansplaining]

"That's a relief," says Ford. "I spent half my life thinking that I was, and...it's really nice to feel like calamity won't strike the minute I turn my back."

[14thcommander]

"Fuck." Hange turns sideways in her chair, so she can roll her head way back. "That's the dream, isn't it?"

[mothmansplaining]

Ha ha. Look at her, turning upside-down to make a point; Ford's charmed. He gets it, though. Leaving survival-at-all-costs mode is something that has only been possible since he graduated, since Bill decided on his own not to destroy inhabited planets, since the consequences of what Bill does when Ford isn't looking have been consequences Ford can accept and live with. It's been a difficult emotional adjustment, but now that he's got it...he's so glad.

"That it is."

[14thcommander]

"I honestly can't wait. I can't wait to not be at war. I can't wait to not be afraid my people will be crushed in a genocide, or that we'll commit irredeemable crimes out of despair and fear... I can't even imagine it."

Her people have lived under sustained stress and warlike conditions Hange's whole life! She sits straight again.

"Sorry to load all that on you. I know you're under stress too."

[mothmansplaining]

"That's okay," he says, and means it. "I'm glad I could listen! Keeping burdens like that all to yourself isn't easy. But you'll get there, Hange, I'm sure of it."

[14thcommander]

"I really hope things work out with you and Bill. I understand... it'd be hard to let him go after he was important to you."

[mothmansplaining]

"Thank you."

Could he let go of Bill? Frankly, Ford feels that yes, he could. He could go on surviving in a world without Bill in it, especially if he had his family. He doesn't feel like he needs to dog Bill's every move in order to protect the universe.

But he doesn't want to. Ford wants the kind of future that has both his family and Bill in it, even if the two don't overlap, the kind he and Bill talked about. This romance -- this is it. Nothing else is going to quite compare to what he and Bill went through. While, in many ways, that's a good thing, it also means finding another romance that packs the same punch is not going to happen. Life with Bill in it is harder, sure, but when has Ford ever done anything because it was easy?

(Stealing portal parts from C.S.O. doesn't count. Ford would have built it from scratch if it had been viable.)

He gets a little lost in thought for a moment there, gazing into the middle distance, drink in hand. He's visibly distracted.

[14thcommander]

"Another shot for 'em."

Distracted: she can tell.