ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[Video] Ass-O'Clock at night

[angelofthenight]

I couldn't help but notice that stirring post your adolescent self made earlier. Is that still your goal? To collect all the militarized knowledge you can and take it home?

[Demona is grumpy after being turned into a kid for a whole week and look who she'd decided to take it out on? You. Congrats.]

[14thcommander]

[Guess who's awake!]

Good evening, Demona.

And no it's not. Things have changed in twenty-five years. As well as I've changed.

[angelofthenight]

Hm. You're older than I expected.

All right then, what's changed? Have you defeated your monsters?

[14thcommander]

We have. The titans outside the walls were eradicated. As a researcher, engineer and weapons designer, I helped.

Hmm, give me a minute... I've shared this...

[She's going to go digging. It takes several minutes; Hange is a bit awkward on the network, but soon enough she sends off a post ID to Demona.]

[angelofthenight]

[There's a pause while Demona watches it.

Until, finally.]

Why would you make such an announcement?

[14thcommander]

Secrets tend to become revealed here. Losing a friendship I was attached to because my past came to light on its own would be worse than someone seeing that and self-selecting out.

[angelofthenight]

[That gives her pause. What secrets would she rather not have revealed for her here...?]

Well, did any of these weaklings actually tell you off?

[So Hange tortured someone? She's not impressed.]

[14thcommander]

No. We have a softhearted crowd.

[angelofthenight]

Of course we do.

[She makes a disgusted face.]

I think I miss the fire of your younger self.

[14thcommander]

Haha!

[Hange misses her too, sometimes. The strength of that anger. The sense of self-righteousness.]

She's still me. With me. She needed to change. Some of the ways she existed were... maladaptive. Her temper drove away comrades and friends and blinded her to certain things. When she became more moderated, her vision was clearer.

[angelofthenight]

[Something about that feels directed at Demona herself. If the gargoyle would allow for some self-reflection she might be able to see why.

But she won't.]

Oh? And what is it you see now?

[14thcommander]

More nuance!

[it's not really entirely intended to be directed towards Demona, although if Demona took something from it, Hange would be quietly pleased to have guessed correctly.]

I changed a lot after that. You didn't meet me at seventeen or twenty-five... it took lots of work... it's hard to do, reinventing yourself...

[angelofthenight]

[There's a long, pensive silence.]

You sound like Goliath...

But he is wrong and so are you.

[14thcommander]

Hmhmhm.

[a swallowed chuckle.]

What was Goliath after?

[angelofthenight]

Oh...

[She waves her hand in vague circles.]

Peace and prosperity between humans and gargoyle, probably.

[14thcommander]

Sounds like a gentleman after my own heart!

[angelofthenight]

[Oh, but that does cause a flash of red to shine in Demona's eyes.]

You and your heart can stay well away from him.

[14thcommander]

[It's perhaps not the best idea, but Hange can't help letting out a short chuckle.]

Have you not heard the phrase before? He's not even here, is he?

[angelofthenight]

I... Ugh. Yes, now that you mention it.

[Well, she's really embarrassed herself now.]

No. He is not. If I am lucky, he never will be. Forget I said anything about it.

[14thcommander]

Complicated situation, huh?

[Of course Hange is curious, but 1) she's not Demona's warden 2) there's time 3) she can easily picture the other woman storming off in a snit if pressed improperly.]

Anyway. That thirteen-year-old is still with me, I hope... and I accomplished what she wanted to do, if not in the way she pictured. She'd probably think I'd lost it if I described my approach, but it worked, Demona.

[angelofthenight]

You don't know the half of it.

[Hange rightly guesses Demona isn't in a sharing mood.]

But how did it work?

[14thcommander]

Well, I started observing titans really closely. They're what I spent most of my time studying... I tried to talk to them and be kind to them... so many people hated them over the years and it didn't lead them to any solutions. I thought, well, people will think I'm insane, but this is how I want to do it and how I prefer it! And when I softened, I could watch them more closely. I could still kill them, don't mistake me, but I moved towards designing weaponry and strategy to counter how they actually behaved, not how I thought they'd behave when I just looked at them and hated them and didn't think any deeper about it...

[angelofthenight]

[Talk to them? She balks at the idea, at first, but as Hange continues, she starts to see the wisdom behind it.]

Of course! Know thy enemy. I'm can't believe you were the first to have come up with that idea.

[14thcommander]

They never spoke back to me. As a rule they don't... speak. They are insentient. I'll show you sometime if you really want.

Most people never came close to them. Most people stayed as far away as possible. I think there was a population-wide effort not to think of it, and them, and how entrapped we were, how fragile our existence.

[angelofthenight]

Oh. I see.

[Typical weak humans, not willing to face the horrors before them. But then that makes Hange the exception to the rule...]

Show me how?