ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

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[beejfu]

[He drops his chin on her shoulder with a sigh, snuggling her and picking her up briefly in the hug before setting her back down Look mom, no tongue!]

That feels genuine. I must be sick.

[14thcommander]

I think you've changed, even without being here for too terribly long. I think it's changes for the better.

[He's not ready yet but the prognosis, as far as Hange is concerned, is good. She steps away from the hug, takes him by the shoulders and looks him over.]

Back to normal, I see. [no more clean Betelgeuse. It's genuinely fine.] What have you been up to these past weeks?

[beejfu]

You think so? Because suddenly existence feels way more, ehhhh, complicated. I don't always get what I want and it makes me crabby.

[Weak crab pun, as he visualizes his gag by making crab claws with both hands]

Just crashing with people. Hushpuppy and Jonno but also Ford and Stringbean and Macavity.

I may have accidentally told my tragic backstory to one of them too.

[14thcommander]

Macavity--? [No, it's not important. She moves to put an arm round his shoulder and guides him toward the armchair where they've had quite a few conversations right now.]

Don't shy away from complicated. Embrace it! Whenever you get three people who want different things in the room, the situation gets complicated... but isn't a complex thing also interesting?

[beejfu]

[He sidesteps like a crab and plops down on the armchair as directed like it's an automatic thing now.]

It's a pain in the ass is what it is.

All of a sudden I'm giving a shit about what other people think again! Who the fuck cares about breathers, am I right? High five.

[14thcommander]

[She raises her hand for the high five, amused and unoffended but obligated to point out:]

I am a breather.

[beejfu]

[high five!]

Yeah. But you're the exception that proves the rule. You're one of the good ones.

[14thcommander]

[She sits too, kicking back and sitting cross-legged in the armchair.]

Aha. Now this is a tough balance to strike. Sometimes it's important to put the opinions of others aside and pursue what means most to you. Sometimes, though, it's the right thing to do to take those feelings into account.

[beejfu]

How do I know when to say 'fuck em'?

[He twists in the chair, to throw his legs over the one side and his head over the other]

[14thcommander]

Well, before you say 'fuck 'em': have you done what you can to make sure the people protesting are safe? Will your success or failure impact their safety somehow?

[beejfu]

Who cares?

[14thcommander]

You, ideally.

When you care, you'll be that much closer to graduating.

[beejfu]

But caring is what kills me in the first place!

[14thcommander]

Yes... it can be risky. But that doesn’t mean it’s not important to do, or that doing it successfully won’t improve your life! It means you have to balance risk and your own safety.

[beejfu]

[A low, long whine of frustration]

People suck. Breathers suck. They're boring, Hange! How do I give a crap about someone who's boring? Fake it until I make it?

[14thcommander]

You know what's funny? You and Bill sound so alike about that. The masses. But the thing is, it's easy to disregard an undifferentiated mass! But once you're in the trenches you see people closer up...

[beejfu]

Bill is a national treasure.

Yeah, okay, certain persons are cool and all but I'm talking about when you get them in a room together and they become people.

[14thcommander]

I’m not sure what to tell you. I don’t think there’s one thing to say to address this, honestly. I think probably, your response to that needs to change for you to graduate, even if your feelings don’t. And that’s probably something you have to live your way into.

[as opposed to theorizing himself into empathy.]

[beejfu]

[He gives a low, low whine]

I've been dead for-EVER. I don't know how to live! And even if I did, it would take so many goddamn years!