ic contact

[14thcommander]

It's Hange, Hange, Hange! Were you looking for me? I'll get back to you posthaste. Or when it's convenient.

[ communicator & actionspam it's all good ]

Comments

[mothmansplaining]

I don't think the Barge is for us, Ms. Hange.

I think we're picked because someone, most likely the Authority, wants to see what each of us will do on a ship like this.

And I think that whoever it is is watching us.

[14thcommander]

[Hange rubs her forehead, pours more tea for herself.]

Do they make good on deals anyway? — And it’s just Hange, by the way. Sectioner, if you must use a title.

[mothmansplaining]

[Hange, got it.]

Oh, the deals are good -- if the Admiral was honest with you. He lets wardens sign on sometimes in exchange for things that were going to happen in the future anyway, without his interference. It's like a game show prize: he has to have something you want to get you to play.

[14thcommander]

I don’t think that’ll be the case for my deal.

[Hange stares at the waves.]

Whether we’re watched or not, I can’t pass this opportunity up.

[mothmansplaining]

I understand that.

It's a complicated situation. Some wardens really don't have another opportunity to make their deals happen. Others come from worlds so terrible that they can't go home without one. A few are here because they believe in helping the people on board, even though the Admiral's corrupt and incompetent. And, of course, there are the ones who are here because they think it's a good time.

[That last bit was said darkly, but Ford's tone is more level as he goes on.]

Idealists and vacationers aside, the Admiral finds people who desperately need something, something worth playing the game for. It's a neat system -- it means that anyone actually trying to change anything has to contend with every person on the Barge who needs it to stay the same.

[14thcommander]

[She does need it to stay the same. She needs to get a deal. She needs it to work. Her people are at stake, as are the rest of the people in her world if launching the titan attack against them somehow works and the Eldians aren’t crushed by mismatched technological might.

Well, fuck. A lot of things were bad about being part of an upstart fringe group of dreamers, political radicals, would-be heroes, and idealists, but the sense of righteousness that came from being part of that group battling against a superior power sure was nice.]

What did you ask the Authority?

[mothmansplaining]

I asked them why the Admiral was called an admiral when he clearly only had one ship.

[14thcommander]

[Hange

looks at him.]

You what?

[mothmansplaining]

He's clearly a captain or a skipper, not an admiral!

[14thcommander]

[Okay.

Okay Hange has done enough silly, frivolous things in her life and pursued enough nonsense that she can’t judge him... no, she can. She’s judging Ford a little.]

And you could have asked them anything?

[mothmansplaining]

It's important to have accurate rank designations if you're going to model your fantastical afterlife fleet after the Earth naval system!!

He just did it for the hat!

[14thcommander]

... Hahaha! Hahahahaha!

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford is going to sit here fuming until she's done laughing, because he still hates this inaccuracy very much.]

[14thcommander]

Hahaha...

[Okay, she trails off.]

It’s all made up anyhow.

[mothmansplaining]

Apparently so. When you're a group of insanely powerful extraplanar beings who can grant any wish you can imagine, I suppose you can call your officers whatever you want.

[if you want to be WRONG.]

[14thcommander]

[Doing it wrong is just inventing the new right way sometimes!]

Kick Betelgeuse out if he's too intolerable of a houseguest. He won't like it, but it's your quarters and you should feel comfortable and safe there and have privacy.

I think some of the people on this ship have done wrong by him, but he certainly does his part to instigate.

[mothmansplaining]

Oh, don't worry about that.

If he wants to stay in my house, then he has to behave. If it gets really bad, I'll kick him out and pretend he isn't there.

With demons like him, sometimes that's the only threat that works!

[14thcommander]

Hmmhmhm. [Just a lil swallowed chuckle.] Well, good. Thanks for being kind to him in spite of the inconvenience.

[mothmansplaining]

Hange, I've seen a lot of strange things in my time, and I've made the kinds of mistakes that people don't usually come back from. I've been given more second chances than I'll ever deserve.

You're never too old to change. Even if you're a trillion-year-old demon! I'm not going to trust him carelessly, but I'm willing to give him a chance.

....with precautions in place, of course. Do you know my coat is magic-proof? I also bleed helium.

[Ford why are you saying that so cheerfully.]

[14thcommander]

[She is totally distracted by that last point.]

How are you alive then?

[She's reaching out to poke him. Hmm. Feels solid. Doesn't feel like he's full of gas. Hmmm.]

[mothmansplaining]

Oh, it's still normal blood while it's in my body. But, as soon as it breaks contact, presto! Lighter-than-air gas. Impossible to use for blood-magic rituals.

The magic comes from an alchemical sigil I put on my socks. I've got another for ammonia, but that one's less practical, except for when I'm out of cleaning solution.

[14thcommander]

I wanna see the sigil.

[please. PLEASE show her the sigil.]

[mothmansplaining]

Well, okay, but I've had these boots on all day, so...don't say I didn't warn you.

[Ford pulls the left boot off. He crosses his ankle over his knee with a huff so that Hange can see: the bottom of the sock, which has been mended at the heel, has a complex symbol drawn onto the bottom in permanent marker. There are alchemical symbols for the components of blood and for helium, mathematical equations, and all kinds of esoteric nonsense.]

[14thcommander]

[Hange gazes upon this and says the first thing that comes to mind.]

That seems like something you should have tattooed on. If someone peels off your socks won't they be able to get your blood?

[mothmansplaining]

Only if they know it's there.

[A jovial and conspiratorial wink.]

Hence the bottom of the sock! If I got it tattooed, I'd be unable to change it. I might need my own blood for something in the future! And besides, an unlimited ammonia supply is darned useful, especially when you're an inmate and can't get at the cleaning chemicals in the maintenance closet.

[Also, he'd been helping to feed Tesla at the time, purely as a friend, you understand, and that shit needed to be removable.]