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Leaving? Why? For what?

Ahh, yeah. I mean. I'm kind of a selfish person? And I treat people like crap and I don't belong here.

Christ..

[there's an audible pause as he tries to gather his emotions and not make this harder than it has to be]

Listen, I just wanted you to know I had an amazing time here and you're an incredible, amazing person and I'm sorry for all the fucked-up crap I did to you. Good luck with your world and, and everything. You're great. Everyone here is great.

I - look. I, it's - not fine, but in the past, and I've had worse. I accepted when I took this job that any inmate I had would take advantage of me at some point. I think that's... part of graduating someone. If you're treating someone well, they're able to take advantage of your kindness.

Did something happen? What brought this on so suddenly?

It's not fine. I treated you like garbage and I shouldn't have taken advantage of you at all.

Yeah. It's just...I had a conversation and it put a lot of facts into relief. Kick in the ass, really.

But it is fine. I accepted it as a risk of the job. I don't want it to happen again, but if it did we'd fight it out. Building your future is more important to me than... than accounting for every infraction of your past.

It's not going to happen again. I can't keep taking from you, and Rhys and everybody. And I think I'm always gonna be this terrible selfish person who can't even stop saying I in this stupid sentence. Fuuuck.

You'll look out for Loki? If not I gotta find him a replacement warden. Kid's brilliant but he's on the cusp of something.

Betelgeuse, I - I don't think this is true, and this is a lot better than you just running when you graduated, but you're still running away when things get hard! Please tell me what actually happened.

I'm not - it's not running away when nobody wanted you here in the first place!

It's just going back to the status quo. You can't run away from somewhere you weren't supposed to be because you suck and can't warden for shit and everyone you think likes you actually is two seconds away from telling you how much they tried to be your friend.

Holy run-on sentence, Batman

That's what happened. I'm a creepy abomination who treats this place like a playground instead of whatever it's supposed to be. I suck, Hange.

Except no! Wrong! None of that is true! I was worried when you graduated, because I was afraid you'd be seriously hurt! Or hurt someone else! In case you hadn't noticed, I was worried when Jean was here as well! It's not because you're especially a failure. You're getting caught up in your own feelings, again, and putting connotations into what I'm saying that I never meant, again! Slow the fuck down.

You were afraid for me?

I’m slowed.

Yes! And obviously I was right to be because now this!

Was that not clear?!

No...?

Fuck. I’m sorry. I just...you really are worried for me?

For me.

[Hange has a parade ground roar that can be heard across a battlefield. We are ranging into that loudness now.]

YES, BETELGEUSE!

WELL CHRIST.

ALL I EVER WANTED TO HAVE WAS A HOME AND PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT ME AND TO COME HOME TO.

YOU FLAMBOYANT ASSHOLE.

I really, really, really, really need you to start listening to me, and stop thinking the absolute worst case scenario of every interaction I have with you!

It's not you!

It's not....I AM listening to you!

I just had a bad talk with somebody I thought I was close to who said that I didn't belong here and that I wasn't trying at all. That you and Rhys and kids were putting up with me.

And all this consent talk and I wasn't gonna disappear without saying goodbye but I didn't wanna stay where I was just going to cause problems.

I DID listen. I am trying. I stayed, I was making sure you and Loki and Rhys were settled and I had a plan and I was going to make sure Bill was all right because I didn't wanna disappear on him right after Ford left.

Okay. Alright. Okay.

[Hange is forcibly calming herself down. Reset your breathing, tense every muscle in your body as hard as you can and relax, good, good.]

Well, I don't want you to do that. And surely my wish must hold at least as much weight as your mystery person's?

[Betelgeuse seems to take his human cues from her, and relaxes when she does, calming down by degrees as Hange calms down]

Yeah. Course it does. You're one of my closest friends I've ever had.

Good.

[Good.]

Who on Earth were you talking to? And, to be clear, if you need a break off the barge - I think you should rest if you need to. But don't leave.

I mean, the only place I would go is to Rosie's. Maybe after the holidays clear up and people go back to their usual crap they've got going on.

Tiff. It..jesus christ. She told me I..

[he looks uncomfortable, but not squirrely like he's trying to hide something; more like he's trying to find the words]

It was my fault. I was messing with a new girl and I was attracted and sang a dirty christmas song at her, and she stabbed me with a pencil to the eye.

And I wanna make it clear, we apologized to each other and cleared shit up afterwards. I thought she was into me and misread the signals, she thought I was the avatar of some demonic force from her world.

Tiffany? Tiffany said you weren't trying? That we were just putting up with you?

[There's a lot to unpack here so let's start with that.]

That - I mean, that doesn't sound like her at all. What the hell?

That’s why I was so upset about it! Fucking out of nowhere! She was treating my eye and asked me what happened and now she thinks I’m a rapist.

Or something. Look, I would never. You know that!

I do know that, but - I know you come on really strong, too. Some people are gunshy of that. It's something to consider, especially if the "new girl's" an inmate, but even if she's a warden...

You wanna walk over, or you want me to summon you?

I know! But I thought we were having so much fun! And she stabbed me and no hard feelings.

You wanna see me?

Yeah, but you're not always the best judge of that... and I don't mean to be too hard on you for that, because I'm not the best judge sometimes either.

And of course.

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cw; consent issues

no subject

cw: consent issues

cw: consent issues

Re: cw: consent issues

cw: consent issues