He wants to trust Hange, to open up to her about everything that's happened -- the deaths, Bill being here, the fear of Bill escaping, the fear of never seeing his family again, the real knowledge that something in him is broken and he'll never understand others easily, the desire to help people here who are hurting but not knowing how to do it equitably, and Bill...Bill using him again, and Ford missing him anyway like a damned fool.
But complaining is showing weakness. It implies Ford can't handle this, and he wants to show he can. He's fine, he's been through plenty of terrible things before, and he doesn't have to tell them to everyone he meets.]
If I could, I'd leave in an instant. But it's still my best chance to find my family and bring them somewhere with a future.
And there's the other inmates. It'd make me a real jerk to give up on trying to make the place better as soon as I didn't have to deal with it. The things I hated about being an inmate didn't go away just because the Admiral decided I was safe enough to bring back to life.
no subject
He wants to trust Hange, to open up to her about everything that's happened -- the deaths, Bill being here, the fear of Bill escaping, the fear of never seeing his family again, the real knowledge that something in him is broken and he'll never understand others easily, the desire to help people here who are hurting but not knowing how to do it equitably, and Bill...Bill using him again, and Ford missing him anyway like a damned fool.
But complaining is showing weakness. It implies Ford can't handle this, and he wants to show he can. He's fine, he's been through plenty of terrible things before, and he doesn't have to tell them to everyone he meets.]
If I could, I'd leave in an instant. But it's still my best chance to find my family and bring them somewhere with a future.
And there's the other inmates. It'd make me a real jerk to give up on trying to make the place better as soon as I didn't have to deal with it. The things I hated about being an inmate didn't go away just because the Admiral decided I was safe enough to bring back to life.